My struggle with my weight is no secret. I am not sure what happened. I was not overweight as a child and I was athletic as a teenager. In fact, I was skinny almost all my life. Sure I can track my weight gain to significant events in my life like the passing of my mum in 1996 to cancer. I have yet to meet an overweight person who is that way for the fun of it. There is always an underlying issue. While I can say that that one event in my life had a huge part in how I got here, I have yet to figure out why I am still here. Fear of failure? Not enough belief in myself? I am sure there are many reasons, but at some point you just need to say to hell with it. Stop making excuses, stand up and make a change. Sounds simple enough. Maybe it is.
I have had so many ah ha moments but none of them ever seem to stick. I lost over 50 pounds a few years back but the minute I stopped focusing on the task at hand I had gained half of that weight back and fell right back in to my old habits. Why was I successful in the first place that time around? I made goals, I kept track of everything. I had a plan and it was working. The minute I stopped keeping all of it right in front of me my success was halted. Then I got discouraged and ended right back at the starting line.
I am a big fan of the show The Biggest Loser. It has changed and saved so many lives over the years. Every season I watch and vow that it will also be my time to get myself on track. I look at some of these people who are broken and willing to stand on a scale for the world to see. In a very public way they are willing to shed the layers of whatever it is that got them to that place. Sure having the best fitness trainers in the world training you helps. Having a kitchen stocked with all the healthy food you need to succeed helps. And for sure the constant eye of America on you and the chance at 250,000 dollars is enough to push anyone to success. But at the end of the day they are no different than me. They just happened to have that platform to give them that extra push. Would that be nice? Of course. But the reality is that The Biggest Loser isn't the path for all of us. But it certainly doesn't mean we can't take the things we learn from watching and apply it to our own lives. And it most definitely doesn't mean I should sit on my lazy butt and watch it while stuffing something unhealthy in my mouth.
I struggle with motivation. Which when I really think about it makes no sense to me. My health for starters should be motivation enough. I have had 2 cancer scares in the last few years, one of which is very recent. Chris and I would like to start a family sometime in the next few years. And honestly I am just really tired of feeling tired and not having energy. I am tired of this that and the other thing hurting. I am really tired of not being able to buy and wear some of the clothes I want to wear. Yes, Lane Bryant has some nice clothes and yes I shop there. But the reality is I don't want to have to shop there.
Stand up and finish what you started! - Bob Harper
I have started this journey SO many times the last 10 years and not one of those times have I finished. I have to believe that this will be the time I get it together and I finish. I have revamped my list of goals and rewards which I will post on here in the next couple of days. I know this isn't going to happen overnight, it is a work in progress. I fully give any of you permission to push me in any way you think I need it.
This HAS to be my AH HA moment. I am ready for this and I want this.
Believe in yourself, trust the process, change forever! - Bob Harper
7 years ago