Tuesday, November 21, 2006

10 Years......

10 years is a long time. And yet 10 years can go by so fast that if you blink you miss half of it. I recently received an email survey asking about things I have done or accomplished in the past 10 years, or how I have changed in those the past 10 years. It really got me thinking about where I have been, the people I have met and the things I have done.

In the past 10 years I have been through times of joy and happiness and times of sorrow and sadness. When I think of the trials and hard times I have been through and the mistakes I have made I have never once wished I could change any of it. All of those things have helped me grow and learn. Perhaps the only regret I have is people who I have hurt or friendships that were lost during certain times. You take life for what it is, you learn, you grow and you move on and hopefully become a better person for it.

One of the great joys for me in the past 10 years was meeting and marrying my husband Chris who I met while I was living in Vancouver BC and he was living in Seattle, Washington. We have been together for almost 5 years and married for just over two. My whole life I have always wanted a dog and finally got one almost 3 years ago. She is a total brat but she is my baby and I love her to death. In the past 10 years my brother Dave and his wife Susan brought two little boys into this world. I love my nephews a lot and it makes me sad I can't be closer to them and see them more. In January 2004 my dad was remarried to a wonderful woman who I have yet to meet. But he is so happy that I don't need to meet her to know how wonderful she is.When I married Chris my family was greatly expanded as he comes from a pretty big family. I am grateful that all these people are a part of my life.

One thing that stands out to me when I think of all these things, good and bad, is that my mum was not here for any of them. 10 years ago today my mum, Margaret Floyd passed away at the far too young age of 49 years old after a short but hard fought battle against cancer. This was by far the hardest time in my life. People have asked me over the years if I think death is easier to accept and deal with when you know that it is coming. I am not sure I really know the answer to that but in some ways I think knowing makes it harder. I think people are more likely to be in denial and to always think it won't really happen, that they will be cured. I know for me there was a part of me that always thought she would get better and I think when she didn't it was that much more devastating for me. I remember the day I found out she had terminal cancer like it was yesterday. I was working at camp that summer. I remember sitting in a room with my brother and his wife and the pastors of our church at the time and my bosses from camp. They said she had a year at the most and 5 months later she was gone. Watching someone you love more than anything die from something so horrible is something I pray I will never have to go through again. It changes you. I am just so thankful that I have a faith in God that pulled me through that time in my life and made me better for it.

My mum was my best friend. She was the person I told everything too, she was the person who always made me feel better and always new the right things to say and do. She loved her family so much and I know the hardest thing for her was not leaving this world but leaving her family. She loved the Lord with all her heart and I know without a doubt in my mind she is in heaven with Him and I will one day see her again. The way she lived her life, loved her family and served God forever changed me. Knowing her made me a better person and for that I am forever grateful. I miss her and think about her often. You don't ever stop missing someone, it just gets easier over time and eventually when you think of them its with a smile and not tears. Most of the time when I think of her I smile because I have so many wonderful memories of her. But days like today I am sad because of what I lost and what she went through.

Go and tell your husbands/wives, your parents or whoever that you love them. Hug them and thank them for what they mean in your life. Don't take them for granted, not even for a second.

17 comments:

Alison said...

What a wonderful tribute Evey! it brought tears to my eyes. your words are so true as well to never take anyone for granted. Even if it is unintentional it can cause so much hurt for you and them.

Take as much time as you want up until friday. I have to know then so I can get ready for the show on Saturday.

Cheers!!!

Jenn said...

well I'm crying. How touching was that. I can't belive its been 10 years. I have to agree with you. Even though we may have done things that were stupid it makes us who we are today. Love ya girl.

Ian McKenzie said...

I remember that was the Christmas of funerals at Edmonton Temple, starting with your mom's. I hadn't been here very long, so did not get to know your mom that well. It's wonderful to see the memory of her preserved by your remembrances.

Dayna said...

Thanks for the reminder of not taking people we love for granted... this was a beautiful blog. Thank you.

Kirst said...

Okay so this isn't a shock but I am totally balling. I can barely read what I am typing. What a great tribute to you mom. Thanks for reminding us how lucky we are to have people we love in our lives. Your mom was a truly wonderful lady.

Lucy Stern said...

I'm crying too. You did such a wonderful job describing your feelings for your mom. My mom died suddenly 26 years ago from a heart attack. Dad was talking to her one minute and the next minute she was dead. It was such an unexpected shock and it tore me apart. I didn't even have a chance to say good by. She was my best friend also, but time does heel.

My dad died 6 and a half years ago and he lingered on. He had congestive heart failure and he had been lugging an oxygen tank around with him for 13 months. He couldn't work in his garden any more. He couldn't mow his own yard. All he could do was watch TV and visit with us at times. It was hard for me to watch dad dying slowly, but it was easier to let go because I did not want to see him suffer. Near the end, I actually prayed for the Lord to go ahead and take him. When mom died it was such a shock and so much harder. Some grey hair actually showed up on my head two weeks after her funeral.

I suppose it is different with each person as to how death effects you. I am grateful that I understand the gospel plan and know that they are both in a better place. One of these days I will see them again and for that I am grateful...

Have a Happy Thanksgiving...I'll be thinking about you and Chris.

Jodi said...

It is so hard to lose a parent. We have been through the loss of both my my inlaws. It is hard to be the one left behind.

We just got a call this morning that my husband's grandmother is on her last days.

Definitely try not to take your loved ones for granted. You never know how much time you have with them.

Leslie said...

Beautiful post, thank you for sharing.

Tammy & Jeremy said...

Eve,
I remember the day you found out about your mom like it was yesterday. We were working at camp together and I didn't know you very well at the time but my heart went out to you. I knew you were my age and I just couldn't imagine losing my mother at such an early age. The struggles you have gone through over the last few years have really opened my eyes. I will never take any moment with my family for granted again. Even right now, I am so thankful to be spending time with my grandmother, who may be gone in an instant. Each day is a blessing all its own.

PS. I can't believe it has been 10 years since you and I met...CRAZY!

Anonymous said...

Wow, just what i would have said... You really caught the life of Mum in that post.
And oh do i miss her too, everyday... But life goes on and God has blessed all of us so much since that day.
I went to Mums grave yesterday and put flowers and just spent some time alone, it was good...
Love you little sis.

Big Bro In Edm...

Lori said...

She would be so proud of hwo grown up you are Yvonne. I can remember her always telling us to be good girls. It seemed like your parents were always over at our house playing board games with my parents.
We sure do some silly things but we learn from them and grow. You are so right. Thanks for such an open post.
Love ya.

QueenieCarly said...

That was beautiful, Evey. What a lovely, lovely post. You did a really great job on this. It was so touching to read. Thanks for sharing it with us.

Andrea said...

What a beautiful post! God bless you! We love you!

Cagle Clan said...

Wow..that was beautiful. What a legacy you carry on.

Anonymous said...

I've never met you Evey but have been drawn to you girl! Your Blogg tells it all! Your so sweet!
Your mom taught you well,I know your alot like her,I can just tell.
Your moms watching you and proud of you!! Bettyanne xxxx

Miranda said...

Hey I want you to know that I DO read your blog. I just have not had time to post a comments lately. I tried to post one the other day and I lost it somehow. Anyways, great post. It's crazy to think how much thing shave changed in the past 10 years. It's been nearly that long since I've seen you but I am so glad we have reconnected online. I am looking forward to your visit this winter.

I have a video clip of your Mom from one of the Newfie nights. I really never got to know her but I am lucky to know YOU! It is hard to lose a parent and someone close to you. When my Dad died it took me a long time to function normally again and it really changes you. Love you!

Heather & Lowell said...

I'm catching up on your blog evey. I have always felt that you & I have a connection in this in that after your mom died, my dad died of the same. It will be 8 years in April. What I have been thinking over in the past is the differences between the two. Your mom was diagnosed with terminal cancer & given a time frame whereas dad was diagnosed in January and passed away in April. After seeing the pain that your mom went through, I can't imagine how hard it must have been for you having to see her like it for such a long time and I can only praise God that while it was sudden for dad, at least it was quick, yet painful. Some people have it for years, and I think that that would be the most difficult of all. After what I have seen, if it is me, I hope it is quick but that I am able to say goodbye to those I love. Cancer to me is the scariest thing in the world, and if I get it I can only pray that God would take me sooner than later.
Thanks for a wonderful tribute evey - and it's true what you said, only fond memories remain and I hope that I will be able to share these memories with my kids and that they would have many of his characteristics!
What makes me sad is that of all the things I have done since he passed away, I have not been able to share it with him. LAst week I had a discernment meeting for school and hte prof asked me who I was most like - mom or dad - I turned to Lo & he said "remember, I didn't know your father but from what you have told me you seem more like him" - I choked and almost cried realizing that my dad had never met my husband, nor our future grandkids, or see me graduate from high-shool, college, travel, etc.. But I know he knows it all!