It is no secret that many of our regular readers are pregnant. Which is super awesome and I am happy for each and every one of you.
Now to make it clear before ya'll get any ideas NO I am not pregnant. I have just been thinking a lot lately about how some people seem so astounded that Chris and I are both 28 and have no plans to have kids in the near future. I need to make it known that we DO WANT kids and we WILL have kids. Just not right now. Heck, we even have our kids names picked out, and have so since before we were married. I guess I may as well let you all know what they are so that if all you pregnant people are naming your babies any of these names....Your being warned now, our kids WILL have the same name;) We have 2 boy and 2 girl names all ready to go. For boys it is Noah Christopher and Aidan Jakob. For girls it is Emily Margaret and Audrey Eve.
It seems more and more people are having babies later these days and I don't really think that is a bad thing. I guess it depends on who you are, when you got married and where you are at in your life. I suppose I could make up a million reasons as to why we are not ready or why we don't want kids yet. I could say financially we don't feel ready. Or I could say that we plan on being in Massachusetts a few more years and have no desire to start a family here. There are a million reasons. Now that doesn't mean if we got pregnant right now that we wouldn't be very happy and very excited. We have not yet been married 2 years and we are really just enjoying our time together and figuring out our future. Chris is working hard to better himself in his job and secure our future in that manner and I am looking forward to going back to school.
I will admit that when we first got married I felt super old because I had so many friends who were younger than me and married for 3 plus years with kids. Then I moved here and came to realize that I am not old at all. In fact the majority of our close friends here are 29 and above and none have kids yet. Granted two of them are expecting in September but that's not the point.
We had a marriage seminar at our church a month or so ago and one of the things that was really pressed was how important your married time without kids is. And I have to agree, this time with Chris I wouldn't trade for anything in the world. And when we have kids, we have kids.
So there ya have it. I just felt that some people thought we didn't want kids and I wanted people to know that that is not the case:)
14 years ago
11 comments:
You don't have to explain. I'm sure things would have been different for me too if I were still working a committed job and living in Calgary. Building your relationship with Chris is good because after the kids are all gone, it will only be you and he left anyway. Jeremy and I thought that because of my health issues and his former job in nuclear radiation would have a lot to do with us not getting pregnant at all, so we started trying early. To our surprised, it happed right away. Thankfully, God has prepared us to be ready for this baby and we are very excited. However, if there is one piece of advice I could dispense it would be that there are very few people who are really financially secure before they have a baby. A baby is a HUGE financial adjustment that just comes with life - but you will always put your baby first anyway. Most of our families are not financially wealthy but they are making do with what they have. If you want it bad enough, then don't let that be your barrier. With that said, you know your limits more than we do and if time is what you both need then don't let anyone steer you elsewhere.
Hey girl! Kids come all in due time. Had we chosen to have our kids when we planned, we might just be getting ready to try for one now (I'm 32, the hub is 33). We just happened to have them when we weren't planning, which worked out well as far as our family is concerned, but financially it could've been a better time. So no need to explain! We will all be super happy for you when you announce that you are expecting, but we are also super happy you are enjoying life and enjoying each other! Have a great day!
My best friend in the world and her hubby are ages 41 and 42 and they do not want to have children.
They made that decision from the start of their marriage and have not changed their minds.
I think that it is perfectly okay.
You two have made the decision to wait awhile.
There's nothing wrong with that at all.
Enjoy your time alone, because when the kids come, your focus will be on them a lot. Family changes things, but I have loved my role as a mommy so much. Each couple makes those choices, and it sounds like you and your hubby are doing what is right for you.
Hubby and I didn't jump in right away either Evey. I was 4 months pregnant with our daughter by our third anniversary, but that was our choice.
WAIT.....waiting is good. As
wonderful as parenting is, it is equally as hard.
Someone told me on my wedding day to wait a good 5 years before having kids. I didn't know how I felt about that comment at the time, but now I see it as good advice.
We waited 3 1/2 years but were together a total of 8 1/2.
But, it is a very personal thing. Do what's right 4 U 2 !!
We waited til we were married 5 years before Isabelle came along and we were together for 4 years before that. I think waiting is good. Kids are great but having a life is good too. Enjoy your time with Chris now. A baby changes everything. There's no hurry.
You don't need to explain yourselves.... it is your life and your choices! I went to my 10 year grad reunion last year and I was one of 2 people married with kids... there were maybe 7 other who were married and the rest were still single. So... to each their own. I personally wanted to have my kids before 30 and we didn't want there to be too much of an age gap between Lenore and her siblings. As for finances... we all live beyond our means so you will never be financially ready. As for life changes... it depends what your life is like... for us life didn't change much after babies. We have always been dinner movie people we still do dinners out with our kids or sometimes we take out and our kids go to bed early and we do movie date after kids are in bed. For us.... all we ever wanted was to be parents and I think our big adjustment will be when they grow up and leave! Whatever the case enjoy every moment of it because it goes by way too fast!
That time is so precious. I envy you that you have all that baby free time to spend with your hubby.
That said, my husband and I were together for 5 years before we made the decision to have kids. We wanted to have ours young and quickly so we would have a life after the kids too. Somedays now I think back to those days of sitting on the couch together with no little bodies jumping on us yelling, "MOM, DAD?" LOL
You will know when you are ready. Don't let others make such an important decision for you.
Evey, I hope that I didn't make you feel that way! I am totally envious of all of your adventures and trips. Honestly, I think that we rushed into having kids too quickly. I sometimes wish that we had waited longer. You are doing what is best for your marriage right now and I don't think that there is anything wrong with that AT ALL!!! :)
You are awesome!
I'm with you! Brian and I are in the same boat. We are 28 and 30 respectively and everyone expects us to start popping them out any day now. Except we just moved into our house and have been finally living together as a couple for the first time sice we got married...almost three years ago! So I'm being selfish, I want my time alone with my husband. Does this mean we will never have kids? No, but we just don't want them now. Besides we are not financially ready eyt to handle that sort of responsibility.
So don't worry Evey, you are not alone!
To each his (or her) own! You know what you want and that is ALL that matters! I just think it's too bad if anyone made you feel like you had to justify it! Everyone should do what's right for themselves and not have to feel like they have to defend it! We love you guys!
~Andrea
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