Monday, September 29, 2008

Random Thoughts

--Dear Booger Picker,

I realize you had some sort of issue with your nose this morning and I am sorry for that. What I also realize is that there is such things as kleenex, handkerchief your sleeve even if that was all you had. But you decided instead that you would dig to your hearts content with your finger to retrieve that outrageously wrong booger that just needed to be gotten. You did not care that you were surrounded by people who were probably as horrified as I was to see what you were doing. I mean really WHO still picks their nose in public? Not that I am condoning private nose picking, but at least then I don't have to witness it. Thank God my stop arrived so I did not have to witness what you actually may have pulled out with all that hard work.

--Dear MBTA (Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority),

The 80 bazillion year old man driving my bus this morning was a little frightening. I swear we almost crashed 5 times. I suppose I should be grateful for the wake up call since I was still half asleep when I got on the bus.

--Dear stupid stupid dog owners,

I know I have said this before but I will say it again. There is this amazing invention called a PLASTIC BAG. When your precious little Fifi poops use said PLASTIC BAG and pick it up. I am not sure why people bother getting a dog but don't want the responsibility of taking care of it. If you need some tips on picking up the poop you can click HERE and read a previous post I directed at people just like you.

--Dear PETA,

Yes it is me again. You may remember me from my last post about you. Click HERE if you need a reminder. I love ice cream, I love it a lot. I thank God for cows. I love milk and again I thank God for cows. They are DAIRY cows. It is what they do. What else did you think the udders were for? Decoration? I have actually milked a cow before and it certainly was not seeming to give a hoot. So when you pitched the idea to Ben and Jerry of Ben and Jerry fame did you actually think they were going to say okay? What were you thinking they would do? Say yes and hire a factory of women to pump breast milk? It's not okay for cows to be milked but it is for women? Do you realize how much breast milk and how many women it would take to accomplish what you asked? And really, BREAST MILK? MMMMMM breast milk ice cream. Sounds scrumptious!! Again, you people are off the wall...

I think that is it for now. I am sure tomorrow there will be more things I just need to let you know about. I clearly seem to be over my blogging funk because I can't seem to stop blogging these last 4 days. Enjoy it while it lasts I suppose, who knows when it will end again.

7 comments:

PandA said...

I love your randomness Evey! :) Oh, and I never saw your first "for poop sake" post, so I have to ask - where do you find this stuff!?!?!?

Andrea said...

I don't have time to read this right now as I have to get myself and 3 kids ready to leave for piano lessons. All I read is "dear booger picker", so I'm sure it is a post about my boys! haha!

Vegas Princess said...

Okay, I do believe I just got sick in my mouth a little. Please please please Ben and Jerry's don't listen to these women wanting to use their breast mil for your ice cream. One Sweet Whirled just won't be the same, EVER!

Vegas Princess said...

P.S. I'm baaaackkk!

Andrea said...

Ha ha! You're awesome!

Evey said...

Vegas i am SO SO SO happy to hear that.

Reverend Joyleaf said...

Now, I like my meat and dairy products so take this with a grain of salt. I'm trying to be open minded here.

Read this:

Using cow's milk for your ice cream is a hazard to your customer's health. Dairy products have been linked to juvenile diabetes, allergies, constipation, obesity, and prostate and ovarian cancer. The late Dr. Benjamin Spock, America's leading authority on child care, spoke out against feeding cow's milk to children, saying it may play a role in anemia, allergies, and juvenile diabetes and in the long term, will set kids up for obesity and heart disease--America's number one cause of death.

Animals will also benefit from the switch to breast milk. Like all mammals, cows only produce milk during and after pregnancy, so to be able to constantly milk them, cows are forcefully impregnated every nine months. After several years of living in filthy conditions and being forced to produce 10 times more milk than they would naturally, their exhausted bodies are turned into hamburgers or ground up for soup.

And of course, the veal industry could not survive without the dairy industry. Because male calves can't produce milk, dairy farmers take them from their mothers immediately after birth and sell them to veal farms, where they endure 14 to17 weeks of torment chained inside a crate so small that they can't even turn around.

Here's the link.