Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Solitude

I am kinda feeling like this tree these days. It is a weird and crappy feeling. Well not actually feeling LIKE a tree, that would be weird for sure and probably scratchy. But definitely a solitary/lonely vibe going on.

It's weird because I am so used to having a lot of friends around. Back in Seattle and in Edmonton and even Vancouver I always had girlfriends to get together with for coffee or a drink. You know the kind of friend I am talking about. The ones you can just sneak away with for an hour or 2 to catch up and have some much needed girl time. I don't have that here, I never really have and lately it is really bothering me. I don't know why I don't, believe me I have spent a lot of time to try and figure out the answer. Maybe my weight issues have made me a lot more introverted than I used to be. Perhaps that's part of issue. Or maybe people just really actually don't like hanging out with fat people. I talk with all my friends elsewhere on a regular basis and that is great don't get me wrong. But there is something to be said about having people in the place you live that you feel like you can call out of the blue and just talk or go for a walk. It's weird, it's a weird place to be. And if I am being honest I totally hate it.

And yes I suppose I am feeling sorry for myself today. But Andrea told me I am allowed to feel sorry for myself today. She is very wise, in fact she knows all things. Well, at least we let her believe that. That is all....

9 comments:

Vegas Princess said...

Okay you just described exactly how I feel stuck here in Vegas. And it is okay to feel miserable about it because it sucks. We have no freinds and spend most of our free time with each other or my in-laws. I miss having that person I can call and meet up with to. Maybe I need to move back to Boston so we can be those friends to each other. :)

Tammy Williams said...

I understand! It has been the same way here in Oregon. Of course, I hardly had a chance before having kids to get to know any girls anyway. It's certainly not like old times in Edmonton with you. Move here and problem solved!
PS. HAPPY BIRTHDAY is a great NKOTB song.

Andrea said...

Look at how many people feel the same way! Before I met Kim, which has been a few years now, I felt TOTALLY the same way living out here. If it's an consolation, you are one of the most fun people to hang out with, ever, and I miss you dearly!

BecMama said...

Well it's hard to know how to respond to this post. I'm so glad you're able to get out in words how you are feeling. I know for me that is such a freeing feeling. I have had these moments in moving back to NE. But we are blessed to have found a church where we are slowly getting to know people. I think I guard myself from meeting people too, just so I don't get hurt if the friendship isn't fabulous. Keep your head up Evey. I'll be praying for you.

Melanie said...

I can totally relate to everything you just said...We lived down the street form each other for years and were great friends! I miss the times when you would just drop by and say hello and the times we hung out at Essie's. Growing up and moving on with our lives both led us in different directions. You are now happily married and in the U.S. and I am still in Edmonton and happily with the man I was meant to be with. How life changes...Keep your head up, and know that I am here for ya if you need to talk! We may be thousands of miles apart but I still consider you a great friend and I will always be there for you if you need someone:-)

Jodi said...

I know what you mean. Being a SAHM sort of isolates me and it is hard to get out and make friends.

Family Of Five said...

Wanna go for coffee?

Evey said...

YES Shelley I do, how about I meet you half way in about 3 days ;)

PandA said...

I totally agree - I have been in Cali 5 years, and even when I lived with 2 roommates, I felt that way! Maybe you should move??? At least if you moved to CA you'd have a sister-girlfriend here! ;)

Next time I see you I'll take you out for a pumpkin spice latte. Whadduya say? ;)