Sunday, September 04, 2005

Please Just Revoke All Their Drivers Licenses!!!

Driving in Massachusetts and especially Boston is always somewhat of a challenge. People just plain can't drive here, it's a proven fact. Not only can they not drive but they are rude as all get out. Boston is a beautiful city, but if I have learned anything it's that people here just aren't very friendly. Add that to bad driving and it just isn't a good combination. Ok so on every highway and freeway etc.. There is the shoulder/breakdown lane...Whatever you want to call it. Now it has always seemed to me that the whole point of it in the first place is a safe place to stop out of the way of traffic in case of a BREAKDOWN and or other emergency where you need to pull off the road and out of the way of traffic. WELL....The geniuses who make the road rules out here decided that it would be ok for people to DRIVE in the shoulder during certain times of the day. Now this confuses me to no end, WHERE DO YOU GO IF YOU BREAKDOWN???? Well you certainly cannot pull over to the right like you normally would cause you would get railed by some dumbass driving in that lane cause he thinks it gets him somewhere faster. Not only is there that aspect of it, it is just scary in general. I mean trying to exit off the freeway when you have to worry about some retard barreling into you from something that isn't even a lane in the first place is a challenge in itself. And really, can you please tell me what RETARD thought this would be a good idea?! Too the point where it is actually allowed and there are signs stating so!! It baffles me, I mean doesn't it defeat the whole purpose of the "breakdown" lane?!

Here is a little something I found poking fun at the driving here in Boston. Sadly, it's all true!!


Basic Rules for Driving in Boston:

-- Never take a green light at face value. Always look right and left before proceeding.
-- When on a one way street, stay to the right to allow traffic to pass coming the other direction.
-- Taxicabs should always be given the right of way, unless you are bent on suicide.
-- Never, ever, stop for a pedestrian unless he flings himself under the wheels of your car. Most multicar pileups are caused this way.
-- Double-park in the North End of Boston, unless triple-parking is available.
-- Always look both ways when running a red light.
-- It is traditional in Boston to honk your horn at cars that don't move the instant the light changes. Color doesn't matter.
-- Never put your faith in signs that purport to provide directions. They are put there to confuse people who don't know their way around the city. And to confuse those who do but are detoured by the Big Dig.
-- Use extreme caution when pulling into breakdown lanes. Breakdown lanes are not for breaking down, but for speeding, especially during rush hour. Breakdown lanes may also end without warning causing traffic jams as people merge back in.
-- The yellow light is not, as commonly supposed outside the Boston area, a signal to slow down. It is a warning to speed up and get through the intersection before the light turns red. As a result, yellow lights only light for a quarter of a second.
-- In making a left turn from the right lane, employ the element of surprise. That is, do it as suddenly as possible, so as to stun other drivers. Crossing entire 4 lane roads in one block always gains the respect and salutes.
-- Speed limits are arbitrary figures posted only to make you feel guilty.
-- Whenever possible, stop in the middle of a crosswalk to ensure inconveniencing as many pedestrians as possibble.
-- Remember that the goal of every Boston driver is to get there first, by whatever means necessary.


Kimmie said...

-- The yellow light is not, as commonly supposed outside the Boston area, a signal to slow down. It is a warning to speed up and get through the intersection before the light turns red. As a result, yellow lights only light for a quarter of a second.

Lol, that sounds like our city too, and unfortunately I am bad for that generally as well.

Family Of Five said...

I just hate driving altogether!

Lucy Stern said...

My daughter will be there in about 2 weeks for work. I hope it's not that bad.

fakies said...

I think that list would work in Las Vegas too. People are much more mannerly out here in NE. At least, people will let you into a lane. In Las Vegas, they speed up to keep you from getting in!

Evey said...

Ya that sounds a lot like here as well. And one thing that I should also mention is that people here will turn 1 lane into 3 if there is room, and if there isn't room they will make the room. lol.

True Jersey Girl said...

We have a VERY similar list for driving here in NJ. I think we are known nationally for being the most aggressive drivers around...but that's only because we have such a densely populated state and so many cars and not enough highways to hold them! Now get the f*&% out of my way!

Tammy Williams said...

I WISH people around here would speed up! I get frustrated driving 30 mph all the time!

Good Luck!